


I will never forget the way she looked at me (and others)

by LittleMusing



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 07:19:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15658434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMusing/pseuds/LittleMusing
Summary: Based of a prompt. x-posted from FF years since its original publish date. | Throwing in all the fics of yesteryear that I liked in here in here.





	1. I will never forget the way she looked at me

I will never forget the way she looked at me. For a split moment, her violet eyes told me of depthless sorrow, pain, loneliness and suffering, her gaze holding my brown eyes steady, even though she was near to dying. Even as her breath came in ragged gasps, she held the sword steady, though it may or may not have been to do with me, for I was tightly holding the hilt and hand guard.

The monstrosity would not be held at bay long. Although as I stood there hesitating, it felt as though time had stopped. I couldn't make sense of the emotions being wordlessly channeled from her to me. We were both pretty much willing to die, if it went wrong. It was better than not trying.

She actually smiled telling me her name. "Kuchiki Rukia" rolled off her tongue so easily, although I was a complete stranger and for whom she sacrificed herself. I couldn't help but smirk, perhaps smugly, at that. I told her my name as well, "Kurosaki Ichigo". It was then I plunged the sword into my heart. Our meeting was the catalyst of every event that came after.

The memory of her teary-eyed still cuts me. This was a girl who was strong enough to weather, what, a century or two of suffering? How could I not despair when the rain fell, as though the sky cried for me at her departure? She told me to stay out. "Don't rescue me," she said. Only a fool would follow her instructions. I was no fool.

As expected, she yelled at me, swore, screamed, called me names that I've heard from her so many aeons ago and when she quieted down, she still refused my 'assistance'. Still she refused, even at the brink of death. Nevertheless, I ignored her and almost managed to take her away. I had a score to settle first. My battles were for her, to plough through the ranks, just to rescue her.

There was that time I felt her fall. I stopped dead in my tracks. From a figure who could pull me from a depression, she became a fragile doll, somewhere in the hulking monolith, dying once more. I would have rushed over at once, even if all I could do was to stop the bleeding, which wouldn't help her one bit. I would be willing to go to hell and back for her, I think as I play with her hair. She changed my world after all.


	2. Museum - Holding Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of a one-shot collection I called "Holding Back". Fics based off single-word prompts, this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I'm actually astonished at how well some of these have aged. Maybe because I deleted most of the embarrassing stuff.

"Why did the school have to come up with such a boring field trip!" wailed Keigo, which resulted in Ichigo punching his lights out [it was self-defense].

When the guy recovered, he continued, "We could've gone to the beach, where the sun shines, where there are delectable desserts... food... girls..."

Ichigo rolled his eyes at his friend's antics. The winter sun wouldn't be enough to warm them. Mizuiro ignored him and kept tapping on his phone. "WHY DON'T YOU GUYS AGREE?" Keigo's voice breached  _ fortissimo _ level.

"Stop it, Asano-san," was Mizuiro's flat reply.

"NOOO!"

Ichigo tuned them out and he turned to the girl sitting next to him. "What are you doing, Rukia?"

She had been busy scribbling some stuff on that ubiquitous notepad of hers. "I overhead Ochi-sensei saying we have to write a report later."

"We're not there yet. What the hell are you writing?"

"J-just some ideas of what could be there!" she said, a little defensively.

He sneaked a peek. "Well, katanas would be there... but I doubt they had names."

She looked shocked; somewhat comical actually. "Then how did they release them?"

"They didn't. They weren't shinigami."

"But surely there were shinigami then too!"

"I don't think historians can see shinigami..."

"Gigais! How about gigais?"

"How would I know? I didn't live then, geez."

"I should ask nii-sama about it then."

"Whatever he's going to tell you can't be used here."

"Are you saying nii-sama is stupid?" the tone she used became slightly dangerous.

"I just said Byakuya's history... I mean, Soul Society history is irrelevant to human history!"

"Ahem! Get your asses to the bus!"

Their discussion had disabled their hearing to the shuffling of their classmates. Ochi-sensei stood at the door of their empty classroom, arms akimbo, somewhat glaring at them. "I'm guessing you've chosen your partners?" she said, one eyebrow raised.

Not that there was a choice. Rukia gave a glare that meant, "We'll continue it later."

Ichigo returned it with a scowl, meaning, "I'm going to make you see he's  _ useless _ ."

Her eyebrow twitched, but she was far too 'polite' in front of others.

"Ara, Kurosaki-kun!" she practically bared her teeth and how he hated that falsetto voice! "Let's work together for that report!"

As eggs are eggs, they probably won't remember a thing about the museum, being too busy bickering about how samurai needed to know their swords' names and Byakuya's 'intelligence', among other things. Funny how the silliest things could be serious discussion matter when it came to them.


	3. Ability - Holding Back

"I didn't come here to be rescued by you!"

Her words rang out in the quiet 'center room', where the six of them had to part. Renji said about how worrying for a warrior's life dented his pride something or other, but he wasn't fully listening. He gazed intently at her, silently asking,  _ Will you be okay? _

She rolled her eyes slightly,  _ Of course, you fool. _

He sighed and conceded. He rubbed the back of his neck and agreed they split. There was no time for lingering thoughts, words. They quickly went down their chosen paths.  _ It's okay _ , he tried to convince himself.  _ You can still feel her, she's strong, she can do this. _

When he felt Chad fall, he thought,  _ Keep going! You don't want to appear a coward to her! He's strong, be confident in his abilities! He's your nakama, God damn it, he needs your trust! _

Still he moved, eating up the path before him, hardly slowed despite with a tagging, and clingy Nel with him. She's small enough to latch on, much like Yachiru and Kenpachi... wait,  _ focus on the mission, Ichigo. _

He felt her reiatsu flare; a sure sign she was engaged in battle. Suddenly, it fell, but not drastically. He was tempted to move back, but her words had a certain quality which made it stick like a burr in his head.  _ Keep moving... keep moving... _ it became some sort of mantra.

Then it almost disappeared.

"Rukia..."

He stopped dead in his tracks. He felt himself panic,  _ whathappenedwhathappened _ and still her words remained clear as ever. He growled inwardly.  _ To hell with her words! She's  _ dying.

He felt like he got hit broadside by a truck with that thought. He had to move to her. Now. Only he wasn't allowed to. "Kuchiki Rukia is dead," said the monotone voice of Ulquiorra Cifer. He was tempted to say,  _ Fuck off _ , but it wouldn't help her an iota.

He just had to keep moving.

Towards her.

Let her beat him up later for that. She needed help. Even if he can't do much, he just wanted to be there, perhaps to tell her to hang in there. He smirked inwardly.  _ Like I'm one to tell her, she'd say. _

First, though, he'd get rid of the guy who took his nakama. As he thought that, he wondered,  _ if I don't want Rukia to call me her 'nakama', then what are we...? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be commenting much on these since these are just cross-posts and my old A/Ns were embarrassing, but I hope you'll enjoy these as I still do today.


	4. Autumn - Holding Back

As they strolled, the fire-colored leaves floated down on them. "They remind me of Senna," she said abruptly, divining what her companion thought as he frowned slightly.

"Yeah."

They stood there admiring the leaves slowly making their way down. "Why didn't you let me catch you then?" he smirked.

She blushed lightly and turned away. "I could manage myself."

"It'll be nice for you to be the damsel in distress once in a while."

"I told you already. I don't forgive you for rescuing me," she snapped.

"I had to rescue you."

"So now that that debt's settled, we're even, okay?" she turned to leave when he grabbed her wrist.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going home. Let go!"

"Never. I did once, and I won't ever again," he pushed her into his chest, hugging her.

"I wanted you to be safe, idiot," she said into his shirt, but he heard her anyway.

"I know. So whatever injuries I got was my fault, agreed?"

"It's still mine!" she burst out, pushing herself away. "You got injured. For  _ me _ ."

"You're worth the universe to me, Rukia. Do you think I could just sit there and let them kill you?" he growled.

Both were struck dumb at his admission. She gaped at him, he pretended to study the way the leaves fell. "Look," he said. "I saved you so you could enjoy life."

"T... that's a little altruistic, Ichigo," she tried to joke, but her voice caught in her throat.

"I'm not altruistic. I'm selfish. I need you, Rukia. Can't you see?" he hugged her again. "You're my ray of light. You dried my rain. You pulled me out of depression. You are my driving force. You helped me come to terms with my mother's death," he cupped her face. "Need I say more?"

She found she could not answer. And she didn't need to, as he gently kissed her. "Do you think Senna would be happy for us?" she whispered.

"She better be," he gave her a cocky grin.

The leaves kept falling, and there was no breeze. Only if you watched carefully would you see two perfectly contented people where words need not pass, but that they understood each other anyway.


	5. Age - Holding Back

"You said you were ten times older than me."

He said it casually as they were wrapping up Christmas presents. That would mean she was about 153 now. Three years since they met, but only the first Christmas they celebrated together (with his family) since the pieces from the Winter War had to be picked up and painfully put back together.

"So what if I am?"

She haphazardly stuck tape all over the box  before Ichigo took it away from her, earning him a "HEY!" and a hit on the head. "You're wasting tape," he said, rubbing the sore spot. "And do you want people to open it or not?"

"Of course I do! I just don't know how to... wrap."

"You could just ask."

"I need to learn it myself," she grumbled.

"Suit yourself. When's your birthday?"

"... soon."

"What, you don't like to grow old?"

The comment resulted in a cushion to the face.

"It's not that! Just... I can't really remember."

She stopped wrapping, gazing at the box before her. How many years was it her brother never celebrated her birthday?  _ Too many to count _ , she sighed. Wishes were only gotten from the servants who tended to mill around to see if they could get her something. Eventually, they stopped coming, either because she never asked anything of them or, more likely, her brother wanted them to stop 'wasting time'.

He kept quiet. He cleared his throat and said, "Should I beat him again to get the message across?"

"Ichigo," she rolled her eyes, but smiled too, "Don't you think once is enough?"

"Hey, he  _ has _ to treat you better! If he's slacking, I should go over and knock sense into him."

"You need more sense than him, Ichigo. He's started giving me trinkets these past years."

"Wouldn't a party be better?" he wondered aloud, ignoring her comment.

"He's... a little socially awkward, if you know what I mean..."

He nodded. That icy demeanor would freak out most guests. Still, it would be fun to see him greeting guests, or even have a display of Senbonzakura Kageyoshi whirling around. He doubted his accuracy would be so bad he would accidentally kill the lucky invitees. Or maybe he'd just nick a certain orange-haired 'guest'.

"Ichigo?"

He paled a little. "On second thoughts, I don't think a party would be good."

She gave him a look;  _ what was going on in your head? _

"Okay, I'm done! … Rukia, just how many presents are you going to give?"

"This is for nii-sama, Renji, the servants, Inoue, Ishida, Sado, … er, Urahara-san, Yoruichi-san, Ururu, Jinta, Hanatarou..."

"Okay, okay, I get it."

He sat there a while. "Geez, I'll help you. They're going to wonder what the hell you gave them which needs to be so secure."

"Shut up! They don't teach this in the academy," she shot at him.

"Yeah, yeah, you learn to chop, burn, whatever."

It was quiet save for the rustle of paper and the tearing of tape. "Why don't we celebrate your approximate 154th birthday?" it slipped out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying.

She smiled at the box before her. "Sure."

"Imagine going to the cake shop and saying, 'I need a birthday cake', 'How old is the birthday person?', '154'. How many candles do you need?"

Instead of a retort he was expecting, she just said wistfully, "Just one. It'll be the first one I celebrate with friends."

They went back to being quiet. He promised himself he would make it as special as it could, for this slight girl who meant so much to him. He wondered how he was going to keep scowling as he imagined the joy on her face when she opened her present, finding a Chappy plushie in that purple and white (topped off with a red ribbon) package over there.


	6. Coincidence - Holding Back

It was not coincidence. It played right into the palm of my hand.

Or so said Aizen, that bastard. Serve him right he was serving twenty thousand years. Bet not even that smug look of his can last several millenniums. The thought of Aizen soured his mood further. Only yesterday he had parted with Rukia and the wound was obviously painfully raw. Any self-admonishment of  _ don't think about it _ only made him brood more. He resisted flinging his pen across the room, knowing it wouldn't help. One small blessing was that that annoyance in the form of a stuffed toy was dispatched to Urahara-san's so he wouldn't have to listen to his whining and risk crushing the gikongan inside.

He opened the window and stared blankly, wondering if he could catch a glimpse of that afro dude. Of course, it was futile, but he couldn't help but hope this was some nightmare from which he would wake soon. Only a day had passed. Surely he would wake soon, his badge would wake him from his slumber signaling a hollow and Rukia would ask him to hurry up already. Even as he thought it, he conceded he was being childish, and that he already accepted he would lose his powers and this was the consequence. What he wasn't expecting was the emotional pain which hit him like a bullet train (higher velocity than a truck; more pain) with every thought of spirits, shinigami, Rukia.

It always came back to her. If only he had some small token of her. The powers she gave him, perhaps. And every single time some voice in the back of his head would sneer he had none. He had his memories, which were probably better than nothing, but paled in comparison to the real thing. He rubbed his head. His mind was going in circles. This would do his head in someday. Or maybe it's already gone round the bend.

He looked up to the moon. _Tsukishiro... eh._ _Sode no Shirayuki._ He smiled wryly, remembering how Chappy had held him down while explaining about her zanpaktou, ruining it with that 'pyon' thing. He tried lying down to sleep but got up again, his body too restless and mind buzzing with mostly thoughts about her. Again. He didn't fully understand this _longing_ , but damn well he missed her. She would definitely greet him with a kick and/or punch if she saw him like this. What he would give for that.

* * *

 

She was allowed one more day in Karakura. She didn't really know what she did to pass the time until now. With a start she had realized it was night, and she was standing at the exact same spot where she first met Ichigo. What had brought her here...? She looked up to see him looking up as well, to the moon. She tutted. He should be sleeping. About that, she should too.

She leaned against the wall and watched him. Emotion was written all over his face. What it was she couldn't fully place, but knew it likely mirrored hers. It was uncanny, the way they understood each other. She could practically read him like an open book, and she thought he might know her a little less, but then again, he wasn't one to just voice out deep concerns. Was it coincidence, she wondered, that they would meet? Surely two perfect strangers, albeit strangers who met in even stranger circumstances, couldn't 'get' each other in such a short span of time? And just  _ what _ was that insistent feeling clawing away at her heart?

How she itched to smack sense into that person at the window. They both had to move on, and she was trying to... the one extra day here was a bad idea, in hindsight. At least if she was back in Soul Society she could believe he was, well, not being like this to say the least. Now seeing him, she knew it would take him a while before he stopped. If he ever does. Her time was running short, but she couldn't pull herself away. "I believe in you, Ichigo," she said aloud, though her words could not reach his ears.

She finally steeled herself to open a senkaimon. She paused for a moment. "We'll meet again, I promise!" she yelled, and quickly hurried into the gate.

Coincidence, fate and destiny. The same thing under a different name.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this for a school test, back when I was so into Bleach and loved the shit out of Ichiruki. It's probably almost 8 years since I first wrote this, but I still enjoy it very much, so it's here too for posterity. Past me didn't think it was very shippy, and I don't think it is either, but it's in the spirit of things.
> 
> also can you believe FF is blocked by my government I had to rescue this before it was too late
> 
> I'm not into Bleach anymore, but Ichiruki will always have a special place in my heart. I hang out on Twitter yapping about Granblue @tsurumuse.


End file.
